Monday, December 13, 2010

I can't focus on anything else right now, so I figured I would blog.
Over this weekend, I had the opportunity to examine two very important women in my life; two women in whom I put a lot of trust and who I look up to very much. One of these women has told me how important she feels independence is. She said that she is perfectly ok with being alone. She knows her strengths and weaknesses and has come to the place where she doesn't feel the need to rely on anyone...she takes matters into her own hands. The other woman is almost the opposite. She is also strong and has a lot of confidence in her abilities. However, this woman relies heavily on those around her. I don't think this woman exactly relishes the idea of someday being alone, in fact, I think it scares her. She would be willing to do what she had to do, but I don't think she would be ok with it.
Until about 2 months ago, I would have stated, without hesitation, that I was Miss Independent. I am the first to admit my mindset tends towards the side of feminism...I am not hardcore or anything, but I tend to abhor conventionalism. I don't really want to fit into a mold, I like standing out and being my own person. I do enjoy being independent and I like feeling as if I am solely responsible for my decisions. I came to the realization the other day, however, that made me re-evaluate a lot of my past ways of thinking.
I wouldn't mind being able to depend on someone.
I know this may seem like a "Well Duh" moment for some of you, however this was a big thing for me. I realized that I do want the stereotypical "female things." Wife, mother, homemaker, lover, friend for life. All of these things that I have fought for so long now seem much more, well, normal. I still don't think I will ever be the conventional woman that is so desirable,  but I think that I have achieved a new level of respect for that woman.
In order to bring it all home, I revert back to my original thought. Do I want to be the woman who is ok with being alone and relies upon herself, or do I want to be the woman who relies almost entirely on those that she loves the most.
Answer: I want to be both.

Monday, December 6, 2010

SQUEALLLLLLL!

Ok, so I feel as if every time I post something it is in a time of extreme emotion. Y'all probably think I am an emotional train wreck. Actually, this is not the case. I am someone who usually bottles my emotions inside. This is my way of letting it all out without actually bombarding those around me with my shenanigans.
Anyways.
I am soo psyched right now. Last week, I was totally stressing about my job, my future, my personage, basically everything. Now, I am starting to see things come together. I know that God has everything under control, and I know this because day by day He reveals His awesome plans to me. Not too much mind you, just enough to make me excited.
I am (probably) getting another job. I still have to go through the logistics, but I think I am gonna get this one! No more retail! No more headaches! New adventures here I come!
In other news, I have re-ignited my love with Coffee Mate coffee creamers *sigh* why did I ever stray?

*Jumps up an down and pumps fists in the air*
YIPPIE!!!!!!!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Why, why, why?

There is no point to this post. Literally, none whatsoever. I think that I am just tired. Physically and emotionally. I want to be somewhere in the future, but I know deep down that these steps I am taking now are crucial in order for me to achieve those goals. I just don't like waiting, those of you who know me should know that.
I think I just need a hug....or a stiff drink, I can't decide which would be better right now :)
I will keep going, I will make it through tomorrow, I will have an amazing future. I know all of these things, I just don't like the rocky nature of the path that I am traveling right now.

I think I shall credit my discontent to my lack of sleep. I think a bubble bath will make this crap go away. I shall try and melt away the stress of the day with lavender and ylang ylang.


Perhaps a hug AND a stiff drink.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Holidays bring out the sap in me

Legitimately they do. Babies are way cuter this time of year, and I always get a little teary-eyed on the Christmas morning commercials...even if they are for Kay Jewelers. Yes, I am a girl and I know that this fits into the stereotypical "girl mold" but I can't deny my emotions on this one :)

So in other news, I'm pretty sure I've made up my mind about location...I'm not ready to leave yet. I feel like there is so much I have left to do and I don't want to leave before I've had the chance to do them. I think my problem is that I try waaay too hard to plan out my life. I am going to adopt a surfer's mentality from here on it. Just take what comes and ride the wave all the way to the shore. It's all good baby.
Happy Thanksgiving! Go eat some turkey. Or, if you're a veg-head like me you can have some of everything else that doesn't include flesh. Or be really smart and eat some of everything. (Can you tell I'm already hungry?)
PS: I am in serious need of a hardcore roadtrip, so if any of you blokes have any ideas you should hit me up with those :)

Saturday, November 13, 2010

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

I am heralding in the Season. The time has come, we have made it safely through last year's festivities and they have come back to brighten our doorstep once more. That's right, it's the Holiday Season once again. I find myself getting extraordinarily excited about life this time of year. The days are getting colder which offers many perfect snuggle opportunities, people you see are usually happy about one thing or another, and the amount of glitter and sparkle that is in every product is enough to start a glitter factory. I love it...I legitimately love everything about this season.
Something that I have realized this year; I really do appreciate all that my parents did to create a sense of magic throughout the Holiday season.
When I was a kid, I had the parents who went all out so that the season literally seemed magical. The Christmas "secrets" started well before Halloween, we have the super fun tree picking out/ decorating ritual that lasts well into the night, and we always drove around and judged which house lights were the best and which were too tacky to make it on the list. My dad pulls the whiny bit about putting up the lights every year, he is the only guy after all, and every year my mom plays the Martha Stewart card and decides what theme our tree is going to have. We, naturally, have to coordinate our wrapping paper to our tree's theme also...Heaven forbid they be mismatched ;)
I think I find myself thinking about all of this now cause I won't be with my mom and dad this Thanksgiving. Although this may not seem like a big deal to some of y'all, but it is my first time ever....In growing up, I appreciate all that my parents did to make each day of this season so special. I think it goes to show how much of an effect our parents have on the way we think and what matters to us.
Something to think about I guess. I will contemplate it  over a nice frosty glass of Silk Pumpkin Spice :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Badum-Ching

I am soooo ridiculously hyper right now and the only thing I can think to do is blog about random life tidbits.....
I am going to NYC next weekend, not to mention the fact that I am headed to Dallas tomorrow for a weekend of shopping and spa goodness. Gosh I love my birthday!

Anyhoo, so New York and I are going to have a delightful time. In the midst of the planning process, I realized just how much of a nerd I am. I am going to the Met, the NY Public Library, and vintage shopping.....Who does that? I am ridiculously excited about going and seeing a bunch of old manuscripts.

Sidenote: I have fallen back in love with tea...particularly chai.

Ok, the random spurt of genius has stopped. I am off to bed

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Life

Don't you just love life?
This time of year I can't stop dancing. I have a constant rhythm in my head and it inspires me to move. I can be walking down the street and all of the sudden I will burst into a random jig. Don't be alarmed pedestrians, I am not crazy...well not entirely at any rate :)

I had a thought the other day, it might have possibly occurred when I was doing the aforementioned jigs, I never really grew up.
Yes it's true, I have the body of a 21 year old and the vocabulary of a lady from the 1800's, yet I have the attitude of a 8 year old. I am happy about everything. I love the simplest of things...not even kidding, I get the biggest kick out of bubbles, sparkly things, and any type of fun dessert. I actually like this about myself, I think it has enabled me to come at situations from a positive angle when nobody else can. Recently, however, I think I have discovered a downside to this frame of mind. I find that I am a little naive when it comes to certain things. I always picture happy endings on every type of situation, and when it doesn't happen I get my hopes crushed. I tend to think the absolute best of everyone. I don't get suspicious of people, and because of this I can sometimes get taken advantage of. I don't really know where I stand on this whole thing. Growing up my mom always used to tell me that keeping your heart and emotions tender and "vulnerable" was a good thing. She used to say that it would make you more perceptive and sensitive to others. On the other hand, how much heartbreak can one person take? Honestly, I'm a little tired of being walked all over.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Musings

I was talking to my aunt about this the other day and it has been on my mind lately. Self-Image can be a terrible thing. As women we have it really rough. For some reason we have horrid self-image. Now, some of you (supposed) readers might be protesting right now. "Not I! I love myself! I don't fit into that mold."
Pshaw.
It has been scientifically proven that women have worse self-esteem than men, and I know that each and every one of you at some time or another has downed on yourself about something.
Anyways, that was a little off topic.
What I want to know is, when did our perceptions get so warped? This conversation actually took place while looking at a coffee-table book of Renaissance paintings. For some reason, women today seem to think that we all have to fit into the same mold. Tall, thin, blond, tan, talkative, etc, etc. When did this become the norm? When did this become desirable? Do we honestly think that every man in the world is so shallow that he won't appreciate us for who we are? For that matter, why do we feel like we have to have a man in our lives in order to be considered beautiful?
I think I have just gotten to the point where I am so fed up with trying to fit into the standards that the world expects. I know this should have been a lesson that I learned long ago, but old habits die hard I guess.
Mom, if you read this....You were right ;)
I don't know if there really is a point to this post besides the fact that I felt like typing. I guess what I am trying to say is that we should be more focused on what God says about us then what the Society/Media/Everyone else says about us. You are the apple of God's eye. We are his favorite kids...all of us, and it's about time we (especially me) started embracing that.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

GHAUOAEB;ERPRAEOO!

Ok, so rant time.
Why is it that people are so freaking crazy? I don't understand how oblivion works, but it sure seems to manifest in the minds of the people that I hang out with. Yes, I understand that some things can be easily missed, but come on really? Everything? You have got to be kidding me.
I know that I have to be doing stuff right, otherwise I wouldn't feel the sense of peace that I do overall. But someday I just feel like I literally screw everything up...this was one of those days.
Ok, rant is over. I don't want to think about it anymore anyways.

I went to Whole Foods yesterday, and there were several small children dressed up in Halloween costumes, and even some of the workers were getting their festive on. I thought this was all very cute, but then I saw "her" come around the corner. She was tall, probably because of the platforms that she was walking on. She wore a crazy short, bright color block dress, and on her head was a GIANT rainbow colored bow. I kid you not, it was about as big as Minnie Mouse's bow. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It could have been a costume, in that case I wonder at this grown woman's sanity. It didn't really look like a costume though, and in that case I wonder "Have we really come to this? Has the fashion world become so desperate for attention and unique-ness that the feel the need to resort to dressing up women to look like cartoon characters."  Just a thought

Friday, October 29, 2010

Seasons Change

So I think we all know I am not any good at updating this blog-thing, however I have had a lot on my mind ladies and gents and I feel the need to let it all out. Whether or not this is the best forum in which to do so, I am going to unleash anyways.
If you actually read my past 3 (sheepishly ducks head) posts you might have noticed that I was about to embark on a rather large move. This move was not as big as I thought. Yes, I did move halfway across the country, no things did not go as I expected them to go.

Perhaps I should explain something about myself. I am a planner in every sense of the word. This might come from being female, or it might be a by-product of a very non-traditional childhood. Either way, I tend to plan out things to the umpteenth degree. As many of you know, life doesn't always go the way we plan. Things happen, people change, and sometimes it can get a bit messy.  Needless to say, the emotional move was not what I thought it would be. I went through a bit of a dry spell; not a lot happened and I didn't feel like I did very much. I am just now seeing that this wasn't a time of change so much as a time of growth. I think that, over the past 8 months or so, I have learned a whole heck of lot about myself. I know my strengths as well as my weaknesses. I know how to function without the constant influence of parents. I know how to make good and bad decisions. I think that the only way that I could have discovered all of this was by leaving the safety zone.

Ok, all of this background info is leading up to a point I promise...I have recently been faced with a couple of decisions. I have options, which is really interesting because both of these options could really define how the rest of my life goes....not even kidding, this is pretty big. I'm not sure if I want to reveal what these decisions are at this particular moment, maybe I will sometime soon...just not right now. I feel like I am straddling two separate paths. Both of them hold extreme promise as well as a good chance of heartbreak.  One might be a wee bit more safe than the other, but still they both pose some problems.  I know that this may seem silly, but I really am confused about all of this. I revert back to my previous statement about being a planner. I am not fond of having my world shaken to the point of discombobulation.

What I need is a support group where I can actually hash all of this stuff to, until then....the electronic world will have to do.  I suppose I will leave you with these words from Regina Spektor, a brilliant artist who has really been speaking to me lately.


He stumbled into faith and thought
God, there is all there is
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And all the gods and all the worlds
Began colliding on a backdrop of blue

Blue lips, blue veins

He took a step but then felt tired
He said I'll rest a little while
But when he tried to walk again
He wasn't a child
And all the people hurried fast, real fast
And no one ever smiled

Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away

He stumbled into faith and thought
God, there is all there is
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe
And no one saw and no one heard
They just followed the lead
The pictures in his mind arose
And began to breathe

And no one saw
And no one heard they just followed the lead
The pictures in his mind awoke
And began to breed

They started off beneath an olive tree
And they chopped it down to make a picket fence
And marching along the railroad tracks
They smiled real wide for the camera lens
As they made it past the enemy lines
Just to become enslaved in the enemy lines

Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away
Blue lips, blue veins
Blue, the color of our planet
From far, far away

Blue, the most human color [x3]
Blue lips, blue veins

Friday, January 29, 2010

Updates

Ok, so I know that it has been a while since I last posted...but let me tell ya, my life has been one crazy hectic ball of craziness!
I am in the process of making a HUGE move, not only physically but emotionally as well. This move has really made me reevaluate the choices that I make and the things that I spend my time on, etc, etc. Needless to say, I have been spending a lot of time with my family and a lot of time packing, so this blog has slightly fallen by the wayside.
Now on to more pressing matters: Project Runway!
I am very into this season of Project Runway. Last season I was slightly disappointed. I didn't like the California vibe that exuded throughout the season...I can't really describe it any other way. However, this season has really gone the extra mile, and I look forward to the show every Thursday!
Last night, I was surprised at the challenge. I felt like it was way to early in the game to have the designers try and design something worthy of the Masters. I felt like that should be one of the last challenges. Maybe that is just me, but I think they need to be more innovative in the beginning (i.e the potato sack) and save the "pro" designs for later. Needless to say. I have already determined my favorites in this challenge, and I have high hopes for them.
First is Anna Lynette. Now, I usually pick designers based on my personal preference, however I really do think that she has a great vibe. I think that her romantic feel is something that is lacking in all of the other competitors. I also think that she understands wear-ability which is really important element in the design process. I think that as a Fashion Merchandising student I tend to put a lot of stock in wear-ability.
 
The second designer that I really admire is Amy Sarabi. I think that she is a very edgy designer and that she really has a grasp on innovation. Her potato sack dress was BRILLIANT and really should have won in my opinion.

 
What do you guys think? Who do you like the best?
I need to hear some Project Runway deliberation :-)

Monday, January 11, 2010

Waistcoats and Tea

Well, here I am again to report on the eventful happenings of the past few days. It has been a weekend filled with dorky pursuits and tea out the wazoo.
I went on an all day thrifting extravaganza on Friday. Now, normally I am able to find a myriad of fun things. Friday, however, was not my lucky day. I ended up finding a couple of good books but that was about it.
I hit the jackpot when my friends and I decided to visit this cute little town called Lititz. They were celebrating "Second Friday." All of the shops were open late, and they had wine and cheese tastings in a bunch of stores. It was superb! We traipsed around town until we discovered a little tea shoppe that sold loose leaf tea by the bushel. I got some great blends and have now been indulging in several cups of tea each day.
Which brings me to my next order of business. I have recently discovered that my taste for coffee has been gradually decreasing. Now I said in my previous post that I was an extreme coffee addict. This has been true for the past 10-12 years....and now I don't seem to have the taste for it! This fact worries me a tad. I have a reputation to uphold in the realm of coffee drinkers...I can't let them down!
All joking aside, I have been drinking a lot more tea lately. This is probably better for me anyways, and I love that there are so many different flavors of tea, and each one is extraordinarily refreshing!
Also, I was watching Return to Cranford on PBS last night, and something caught my interest. The one main character, whose name escapes me at the moment, was wearing a GORGEOUS waistcoat through the first half of the show. Another beautiful waistcoat was shown in the recent, and quite popular, movie Sherlock Holmes.* Now, normally I do not notice the men's clothing in period dramas, but these waistcoats caught my interest. I wish that men still wore fancy waist coats and cravats. I feel like it would make life so much more interesting!

Go to 6:09 and you will see the glorious blue and brown waistcoat
I can't find a clip of the Sherlock Holmes piece, but if you have seen it or plan to, it is the waistcoat which is thrown from the carriage:-)
As you are probably tired of my ramblings at this time, I shall bid you all Adieu
Until Next Time,
Morgan

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Just Me

So, this is sort of an introductory blog post. I don't really know a whole lot about serious blogging, as I have attempted this several times before. I never really clicked with the medium, or perhaps my mind and thoughts were way too scattered. Either way, this blog is a way to see if anything has changed.

Like I said in my profile, I am an art school student studying Fashion Merchandising. I would love to work as a Visual Merchandiser for a major company. If anybody out there has ever seen the movie Mannequin, Hollywood has my dream job:-) I am moving to Texas in a month, and I am excited because it is a new phase, new adventures, and new people. I am extremely passionate about reading and often bug my family members with my literary rants. Basically, I want an outlet in which to express my creative musings as I embark on this crazy new life adventure.

You might also hear a lot about my family, and my obsession with coffee/tea. I love my family to death....they mean more to me then I could possibly ever express. They have been so supportive of all that I do and everything that I am. My caffeine addiction, not really, has been developing for many years now. I not only love the delightful taste of coffee, but I also so the romantic/artistic feelings that go along with coffee addicts evoke. Don't get me wrong, I actually started drinking coffee because I sincerely enjoyed it, however this little "image" that goes along with it is merely a delightful perk.

Alright, enough about my life. I actually did a little research on first blog posts and most of them were much shorter than this one....so I should probably cut this short. If you stuck around this long, then you might actually get some enjoyment out of this blog and the thoughts that so often spew erratically from my mind.
Morgan