Well, I have been meaning to update, but as usual I procrastinate on most things that need to be done.
I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. (Insert Lafoo and Gaston dialogue here) While the thoughts have mostly been of an exciting nature, in every lump of excitement there is a snippet of dread. I think most of the dread stems from Fear. Fear of the unknown, Fear of making the wrong decision, Fear of hurting people's feelings, the list could go on.
I hate that. I hate that so many of my decisions have a niggling feeling of fear behind them. I really am not a fearful person. In fact most people would probably not describe me as such, but I know the truth. For years I was guided by fear and worry. It ruled me and it owned me. Now, I broke a lot of that off a long time ago, but unfortunately it still comes back to bite me in the butt every now and then. The sad thing is, I have become so accustomed to not dealing with fear and worry that whenever it plagues me, I usually get ridiculous headaches...which sounds weird but is completely legitimate.
Anyways, the thing I have been thinking about lately is my move. Yes, I said move. I know I have talked about it before but I am actually making it reality this time. I love Texas, I really do. It will be hard to leave all my new friends, but I realize now what a good thing I had. It was staring me in the face for so long that I started to take it for granted. I am moving back to Pennsylvania to fulfill my destiny. It feels kinda good to say it. Almost as if this little blog is some sort of forum for public declaration. Hardly, but that is what it feels like.
Isn't it weird where Life takes us? About 2 years ago I had a whole future planned out for myself, and now I realize it's going to be different than I planned. That's happened to me before, and I'm sure it will happen again. I'm not to keen on major directional shifts...much in the same way that most people aren't keen on the foundations of their houses being jolted about by an earthquake. However, these things happen. You take the good and the bad together and you can choose to focus on the good.
My mom used to say "You've got the same pants to get glad in as you got mad in." I realize now how true this really is. Thanks Mom :)
I don't really know what the point of this post was. Probably just to get stuff off my chest. That is what most of this blog has been now that I think about it. But it feels nice knowing that my feelings are out there.
Well, I am going to return to my glass of Shiraz and trying to get rid of this dreadful tension headache. Hopefully your Tuesday is going a little better.
Until Next Time.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Vlog
Sooo I tried to edit this, but obviously it didn't work...so excuse the weirdness moments. You will know them when you see them :D Annnd obviously I don't know how to choose thumbnails for my videos. Ah well. Enjoy :D
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Life
Life is Precious.
This is a lesson that I seem to be learning the hard way.
*Grandparents in the hospital
*Young People dying.
*Missing out on the everyday of my little sister's lives
* Best friends getting engaged and married and I feel like I am missing it.
My mind is basically on overdrive right now so I'm sure I am not making sense, but I realize, as John Lennon so eloquently put it, "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." I think I realized this a lot over the past year. Just because I am not witnessing events, doesn't mean that they are not happening all around me. I think that it has hit me most when I go back to my Mum and Dad's house and see how much my baby sisters are growing up, or how successful my parents are now. My friends are getting married, traveling the country, or going off to even higher education. I know that we are NEVER supposed to compare our lives with others, but part of me wonders...Am I doing something wrong? What do people think when they see me after a long time? Do they notice a change? I guess I feel like I am stuck in a time capsule and am every now and then glimpsing the time passing by seeing what others around me are doing.
This seems like a pointless waste of breath, but I really do feel this way.
Should I be doing something different?
I just want to embrace the people that I love and never let them go. You never know how long that you will be able to do this.
For some reason my naturally humorous way of thinking is failing me today and I can only see the gravity of life...it's not really a normal feeling for me.
Don't be surprised if I give all of you a HUGE hug next time I see you.
This is a lesson that I seem to be learning the hard way.
*Grandparents in the hospital
*Young People dying.
*Missing out on the everyday of my little sister's lives
* Best friends getting engaged and married and I feel like I am missing it.
My mind is basically on overdrive right now so I'm sure I am not making sense, but I realize, as John Lennon so eloquently put it, "Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans." I think I realized this a lot over the past year. Just because I am not witnessing events, doesn't mean that they are not happening all around me. I think that it has hit me most when I go back to my Mum and Dad's house and see how much my baby sisters are growing up, or how successful my parents are now. My friends are getting married, traveling the country, or going off to even higher education. I know that we are NEVER supposed to compare our lives with others, but part of me wonders...Am I doing something wrong? What do people think when they see me after a long time? Do they notice a change? I guess I feel like I am stuck in a time capsule and am every now and then glimpsing the time passing by seeing what others around me are doing.
This seems like a pointless waste of breath, but I really do feel this way.
Should I be doing something different?
I just want to embrace the people that I love and never let them go. You never know how long that you will be able to do this.
For some reason my naturally humorous way of thinking is failing me today and I can only see the gravity of life...it's not really a normal feeling for me.
Don't be surprised if I give all of you a HUGE hug next time I see you.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Procrastination guides me to success...
I have gotten to the point in my life where the first thing I think when I wake up is "Coffee" followed closely by "Do I have time to press the Snooze Button?" Seriously. I used to think about food when I rolled out of bed, but I now can only think of my legal addictive stimulant, aka caffeine, to jolt me into my morning cognizance.
I really should be finishing up my final project right now, but as you probably gathered from the title, I have chosen to blog instead. Fun Fact: Did you know that I actually went to blog three or four days ago but Blogger as a whole was down. Now that I think about it, that wasn't really a fun fact.
I did more this weekend than I have in a long time. I:
*Stayed out until the wee hours of the morning three nights in a row.
* Went to a HUGGGEE party
*Flew in a private/small 1940's style airplane. (Totally crossed something off my non-physical bucket list. :)
* Had a drunk conspiracy theorist crash our group at a bar. (Ok, it was Appleby's, but we were in the bar section...)
*Tried a Martini for the first time (Thanks Nigel!) and discovered that it really is as gross as it sounds.
* I busted out my creative hat and actually made something that I was kinda proud of.
*Caught up with waaayy old friends and met some new ones.
*Reached a new level of understanding about the person that I am and how I tick.
Seriously. It was amazing.
Another thing I also realized this weekend was how many movies I have watched since moving to TX. I very much know what I like, and I tend to stick to those types of movies. However, since moving to this itty bitty town I now call home, I have taken up with a group of guys who, let's face it, don't like chick flicks...as is the case with most guys out there now that I think about it. ANYWAYS, I have watched the weirdest conglomeration of sci-fi, suspense, superhero crazyness. It's definitely stretched my movie repertoire, but I somehow feel like I should be allowed to sneak a Jane Austen flick in the mix. Too much? I don't think so.
I'm writing about Health Care for this final project, I really don't want to work on this anymore. I suppose I should be happy that I am done in 4 days and then I will officially be a Senior in College...Whew, that's a whole other post right there.
Ok, enough procrastination. If you made it to the end of this blog you either:
A) Have way too much time on your hands.
B) Really love me
C) Have the same sporadic way of thinking that I do.
*If your answer is C, we need to hang out. Actually, I would be willing to hang out with you if your answer was any of the above...just saying :)
I really should be finishing up my final project right now, but as you probably gathered from the title, I have chosen to blog instead. Fun Fact: Did you know that I actually went to blog three or four days ago but Blogger as a whole was down. Now that I think about it, that wasn't really a fun fact.
I did more this weekend than I have in a long time. I:
*Stayed out until the wee hours of the morning three nights in a row.
* Went to a HUGGGEE party
*Flew in a private/small 1940's style airplane. (Totally crossed something off my non-physical bucket list. :)
* Had a drunk conspiracy theorist crash our group at a bar. (Ok, it was Appleby's, but we were in the bar section...)
*Tried a Martini for the first time (Thanks Nigel!) and discovered that it really is as gross as it sounds.
* I busted out my creative hat and actually made something that I was kinda proud of.
*Caught up with waaayy old friends and met some new ones.
*Reached a new level of understanding about the person that I am and how I tick.
Seriously. It was amazing.
Another thing I also realized this weekend was how many movies I have watched since moving to TX. I very much know what I like, and I tend to stick to those types of movies. However, since moving to this itty bitty town I now call home, I have taken up with a group of guys who, let's face it, don't like chick flicks...as is the case with most guys out there now that I think about it. ANYWAYS, I have watched the weirdest conglomeration of sci-fi, suspense, superhero crazyness. It's definitely stretched my movie repertoire, but I somehow feel like I should be allowed to sneak a Jane Austen flick in the mix. Too much? I don't think so.
I'm writing about Health Care for this final project, I really don't want to work on this anymore. I suppose I should be happy that I am done in 4 days and then I will officially be a Senior in College...Whew, that's a whole other post right there.
Ok, enough procrastination. If you made it to the end of this blog you either:
A) Have way too much time on your hands.
B) Really love me
C) Have the same sporadic way of thinking that I do.
*If your answer is C, we need to hang out. Actually, I would be willing to hang out with you if your answer was any of the above...just saying :)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Like A Butterfly...
While this is a slightly depressing song, the chorus keeps popping into my head. Confession: I love Corinne Bailey Rae....she has the most mellow and soulful sound. Her voice has this syrupy sweetness that reminds me of sweet tea in the summer. Is that weird?
The other day someone told me that they thought I must have been a butterfly in a past life. I don't know if they meant this in a positive way or not, but that was the best compliment they could have possibly given me EVER. If you know me at all, you know that I have a tendency to be all over the place. I "flit" around like I don't have a care in the world, which isn't true...but I do think I give off this vibe. That being said, when I think of butterflies, I think of vibrant creatures that flutter about and bring joy. Think about it, as a kid the top two insects that you never kill or freak out about were butterflies or ladybugs. They were sweet insects that were more of a pleasure to see than a displeasure.
Also, when I think of butterflies I think of pollination. To me, this is a form of life-giving. Butterflies help keep things going. Their flitting about is helping the flowers keep growing. Butterflies bring joy, butterflies give life, butterflies are a symbol of freedom.
Now, when you really think about it, butterflies did not get to this place without working for it. They start out as caterpillars and have to work hard at becoming a butterfly. They literally trudge through life for awhile until the appropriate time comes when they have to work really hard to make their little cocoons. Then they have to wait....and wait....and wait. They know the good things are coming, but they also know that they have to work hard in order to get there.
So, to recap
*Butterflies are carefree and bright
*Butterflies give life
*Butterflies bring joy
*Butterflies understand that a good thing is worth waiting for
*Butterflies are willing to work hard for that good thing.
Yeah, I think it's safe to say that I like being compared to a butterfly :)
The other day someone told me that they thought I must have been a butterfly in a past life. I don't know if they meant this in a positive way or not, but that was the best compliment they could have possibly given me EVER. If you know me at all, you know that I have a tendency to be all over the place. I "flit" around like I don't have a care in the world, which isn't true...but I do think I give off this vibe. That being said, when I think of butterflies, I think of vibrant creatures that flutter about and bring joy. Think about it, as a kid the top two insects that you never kill or freak out about were butterflies or ladybugs. They were sweet insects that were more of a pleasure to see than a displeasure.
Also, when I think of butterflies I think of pollination. To me, this is a form of life-giving. Butterflies help keep things going. Their flitting about is helping the flowers keep growing. Butterflies bring joy, butterflies give life, butterflies are a symbol of freedom.
Now, when you really think about it, butterflies did not get to this place without working for it. They start out as caterpillars and have to work hard at becoming a butterfly. They literally trudge through life for awhile until the appropriate time comes when they have to work really hard to make their little cocoons. Then they have to wait....and wait....and wait. They know the good things are coming, but they also know that they have to work hard in order to get there.
So, to recap
*Butterflies are carefree and bright
*Butterflies give life
*Butterflies bring joy
*Butterflies understand that a good thing is worth waiting for
*Butterflies are willing to work hard for that good thing.
Yeah, I think it's safe to say that I like being compared to a butterfly :)
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wouldn't It Be Nice
If we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long.
Wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong.
You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and staaaay together.
Oh wouldn't it be nice.
This song has been stuck in my head for about a week now. Spring/Summer warmer weather makes me think of The Beach Boys, and therefore their songs are constantly stuck in my head and in my heart.
I have recently fallen in love with the idea of love. A long time ago I had this epiphany about what love really is. I wish that I had my journal right in front of me so I can re-read what I wrote. I think what I have fallen in love with is the realization that we were put on this earth to love others. We are here so that we can share the love that God spews forth on us with each and every person that we come in contact with. That is our calling. Now, I think we all do this is different ways, but overall I know that the foundation of each and every one of us is love. We were created because of love, we all desire and need love to survive. Songs are written about it, poets praise it's beautiful mysteries and elegant simplicity.
When I die, the only thing I really want people to remember about me is that I loved. I want to be able to view others the way God sees them, as an individual beautiful creation with loads of potential. I want to rid my life of that ugly judgmental mentality that often creeps into my thoughts. I just want to allow my thoughts to be permeated with pure, unadulterated love. Is that so wrong?
I know this is no easy task, particularly in the World that we live in. But I'm fairly certain I want to attempt in. In fact, I want it to be my life goal.
I also had forgotten how much I love dancing in a public forum. The look of shock on people's faces when I randomly bust out the moves in the middle of a restaurant is well worth any slight sense of embarrassment that I might have had....Pshaw, who am I kidding? I totally was NOT embarrassed.
:)
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long.
Wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong.
You know it's gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and staaaay together.
Oh wouldn't it be nice.
This song has been stuck in my head for about a week now. Spring/Summer warmer weather makes me think of The Beach Boys, and therefore their songs are constantly stuck in my head and in my heart.
I have recently fallen in love with the idea of love. A long time ago I had this epiphany about what love really is. I wish that I had my journal right in front of me so I can re-read what I wrote. I think what I have fallen in love with is the realization that we were put on this earth to love others. We are here so that we can share the love that God spews forth on us with each and every person that we come in contact with. That is our calling. Now, I think we all do this is different ways, but overall I know that the foundation of each and every one of us is love. We were created because of love, we all desire and need love to survive. Songs are written about it, poets praise it's beautiful mysteries and elegant simplicity.
When I die, the only thing I really want people to remember about me is that I loved. I want to be able to view others the way God sees them, as an individual beautiful creation with loads of potential. I want to rid my life of that ugly judgmental mentality that often creeps into my thoughts. I just want to allow my thoughts to be permeated with pure, unadulterated love. Is that so wrong?
I know this is no easy task, particularly in the World that we live in. But I'm fairly certain I want to attempt in. In fact, I want it to be my life goal.
I also had forgotten how much I love dancing in a public forum. The look of shock on people's faces when I randomly bust out the moves in the middle of a restaurant is well worth any slight sense of embarrassment that I might have had....Pshaw, who am I kidding? I totally was NOT embarrassed.
:)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Downward Dog Baybay
Tonight I pulled out my yoga mat for the first time in about 3 months. Yes, it is 12 AM, and yes I decided to embark on this journey in hopes that I would get bleary-eyed and sleepy after stretching my limbs to their maximum capacity. Alas, this was not the case. After the first 5 minutes I remembered why I love yoga. There is something exhilarating about reaching for something that you didn't think was possible. Stretching your limits until you think you can't anymore...and then going that extra little bit. Even after a quick 20 minute vinyasa round, I stand up feeling like I can conquer the world.
Which is precisely why I should not be doing this type of thing at O'Dark thirty in the morning.
Sigh.
I doubt if I will ever get to sleep.
Is it possible to conquer the world in the middle of the night?
Namaste.
Which is precisely why I should not be doing this type of thing at O'Dark thirty in the morning.
Sigh.
I doubt if I will ever get to sleep.
Is it possible to conquer the world in the middle of the night?
Namaste.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Things that make me smile
1. Family
2. Coffee
3. Flowers
4. Cupcakes
5. Smiles
6. Holding Hands
7. Anticipation
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Dah Sickness
That's right folks, I have been holed up in bed for three days with, what Northeast Texans affectionately call, "The Crud." Yeah, I think it's a little weird too...
I have been watching an inordinate amount of TV, which is fun for one day, but after 3 days it is a little much. Not to mention that I really want to go outside and take a reaallly long walk but perhaps that wouldn't be such a good idea. What with me being the incubus of the viral plague and all.
But in all honesty I am glad that it is spring and that tomorrow is Friday and that I can finally start dusting off my zillion pairs of gladiator sandals....Yes, I am that girl.
Gah, I am craving a mocha right now. I don't even really like mochas. Knowing me, I will go and order one with the works, take two sips, realize that I don't like it, and chuck the remainder in the trash. POOF just like that $3.50 wasted. Ah well, at least I know I'm going to be wasting that money ahead of time and I'm not just trying to fool myself
I really don't have anything else to say, other than what I have already stated, so I suppose I could stop rambling now.
Random Aside: I found Ralph Macchio on Twitter. If you could see me right now, you would notice the gigantic grin on my face. It's true, I am the 80's movie nerd and Ralph and I go waaaay back :)
I have been watching an inordinate amount of TV, which is fun for one day, but after 3 days it is a little much. Not to mention that I really want to go outside and take a reaallly long walk but perhaps that wouldn't be such a good idea. What with me being the incubus of the viral plague and all.
But in all honesty I am glad that it is spring and that tomorrow is Friday and that I can finally start dusting off my zillion pairs of gladiator sandals....Yes, I am that girl.
Gah, I am craving a mocha right now. I don't even really like mochas. Knowing me, I will go and order one with the works, take two sips, realize that I don't like it, and chuck the remainder in the trash. POOF just like that $3.50 wasted. Ah well, at least I know I'm going to be wasting that money ahead of time and I'm not just trying to fool myself
I really don't have anything else to say, other than what I have already stated, so I suppose I could stop rambling now.
Random Aside: I found Ralph Macchio on Twitter. If you could see me right now, you would notice the gigantic grin on my face. It's true, I am the 80's movie nerd and Ralph and I go waaaay back :)
Monday, March 21, 2011
Spring Break=Whimsical
Well, I am officially on Spring Break and yes, I realize that I am about a week behind everyone else. I think that I have never really appreciated all that this break stood for. When I went to a brick and mortar type of school I wasn't really much of a partier (as much as that pains me to admit) so I didn't partake of the usual Spring Break festivites such as going to Florida and boozing it up.
This year, however, I am looking forward to this week like nobody's business. Perhaps it is the sudden change in the weather, perhaps it is that I know I could bum around with several people and actually do something fun, perhaps it is the anticipation of doing something creative with my free time, or maybe it is just as simple as knowing I can go to the park with my iced coffee and my novel and enjoy the moment. Whatever the reason, I am looking forward to the rest of this week with delicious anticipation.
I have been thinking about California a lot lately. Not only has a certain someone been talking incessantly about In and Out Burgers *cough Ben cough* but also I have been really having a hard time dealing with the fact that there are so many job openings there and I am here, in Northeast Tx. GAHHHH, I hate decisions. I just started really feeling good about the relationships that I have built here when the whole issue of job dissatisfaction comes into play. Is there ever a time in anyone's life where everything is just 100% perfect?
I think I need a girl's night...complete with cookie dough and Rom-Coms...any takers?
On a side note, I am really thinking about writing a book. Yes, it would take awhile and I doubt I would publish the thing. But maybe it would be a good outlet for my nasty habit of daydreaming....
This year, however, I am looking forward to this week like nobody's business. Perhaps it is the sudden change in the weather, perhaps it is that I know I could bum around with several people and actually do something fun, perhaps it is the anticipation of doing something creative with my free time, or maybe it is just as simple as knowing I can go to the park with my iced coffee and my novel and enjoy the moment. Whatever the reason, I am looking forward to the rest of this week with delicious anticipation.
I have been thinking about California a lot lately. Not only has a certain someone been talking incessantly about In and Out Burgers *cough Ben cough* but also I have been really having a hard time dealing with the fact that there are so many job openings there and I am here, in Northeast Tx. GAHHHH, I hate decisions. I just started really feeling good about the relationships that I have built here when the whole issue of job dissatisfaction comes into play. Is there ever a time in anyone's life where everything is just 100% perfect?
I think I need a girl's night...complete with cookie dough and Rom-Coms...any takers?
On a side note, I am really thinking about writing a book. Yes, it would take awhile and I doubt I would publish the thing. But maybe it would be a good outlet for my nasty habit of daydreaming....
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
What a Feeling.
There are days where I feel like doing nothing but drinking coffee; cup after cup after cup. Why is this?
Today is one of those days. I am now, at 9:30 in the morning, on my third cup. Sometimes I think I drink out of sheer boredom, there is something about having a cup of coffee in your hands that automatically makes you feel slightly special. Other times I think I drink it because it inspires me and propels me forward. Now, I am sure most of these notions are in my head, but then again who is to say that coffee does not actually have the power to do all of these things, I most certainly am not about to argue it's mystical awesome-ness. I will merely revel in the aftermath.
Today is Tuesday, and by my own definition it is my designated school assignment day. I am completely lacking in motivation, however, and find myself dreaming of going outside, swinging at the playground, and going out to lunch with a handsome stranger who happens to know everything about Italy and can spend hours enchanting me with his fanciful re-tellings. Alas, I know that this will not happen today.
Or will it?
I ran over a skunk last night, and now my car reeks. But of course being me, I didn't kill it. Oh no, I drove directly over top of this skunk to avoid brutally murdering the thing, and as a result got the full brunt of it's wrath on the under carriage of my vehicle. Now, I have to go and get my car washed. Something that I don't relish, seeing as how that will mean I have to get inside the car to drive it to town to clean it and right now it smells like Satan's armpit. Oi vey, why do I get myself into these types of situations?
I found my dream job yesterday on Craig's List, and they are hiring. It is in San Francisco though, and I don't know how I feel about that. There are a lot of things in my life right now that I am holding out for. Does a major move fit into my plans? Can I stand rejection from such a job that I realize would be absolutely perfect for me? Dare I apply without some sort of moving plan? It scares me to think I could make one false move and totally screw up my life forever....or maybe it doesn't happen like that. Maybe we have a lot of different paths that we have the option of taking. All of them will lead to the the same ultimate goal, but each one has it's own set of twists and hardships coupled with the perks. Something to lose sleep over I guess.
I really don't know if there was a point to this blog, but I needed to get some stuff off my mind, and what better way then to aimlessly send it off into cyber space?
Adieu for now...I obviously have way too much on my mind to continue in this fashion.
Today is one of those days. I am now, at 9:30 in the morning, on my third cup. Sometimes I think I drink out of sheer boredom, there is something about having a cup of coffee in your hands that automatically makes you feel slightly special. Other times I think I drink it because it inspires me and propels me forward. Now, I am sure most of these notions are in my head, but then again who is to say that coffee does not actually have the power to do all of these things, I most certainly am not about to argue it's mystical awesome-ness. I will merely revel in the aftermath.
Today is Tuesday, and by my own definition it is my designated school assignment day. I am completely lacking in motivation, however, and find myself dreaming of going outside, swinging at the playground, and going out to lunch with a handsome stranger who happens to know everything about Italy and can spend hours enchanting me with his fanciful re-tellings. Alas, I know that this will not happen today.
Or will it?
I ran over a skunk last night, and now my car reeks. But of course being me, I didn't kill it. Oh no, I drove directly over top of this skunk to avoid brutally murdering the thing, and as a result got the full brunt of it's wrath on the under carriage of my vehicle. Now, I have to go and get my car washed. Something that I don't relish, seeing as how that will mean I have to get inside the car to drive it to town to clean it and right now it smells like Satan's armpit. Oi vey, why do I get myself into these types of situations?
I found my dream job yesterday on Craig's List, and they are hiring. It is in San Francisco though, and I don't know how I feel about that. There are a lot of things in my life right now that I am holding out for. Does a major move fit into my plans? Can I stand rejection from such a job that I realize would be absolutely perfect for me? Dare I apply without some sort of moving plan? It scares me to think I could make one false move and totally screw up my life forever....or maybe it doesn't happen like that. Maybe we have a lot of different paths that we have the option of taking. All of them will lead to the the same ultimate goal, but each one has it's own set of twists and hardships coupled with the perks. Something to lose sleep over I guess.
I really don't know if there was a point to this blog, but I needed to get some stuff off my mind, and what better way then to aimlessly send it off into cyber space?
Adieu for now...I obviously have way too much on my mind to continue in this fashion.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Perhaps I'm not the only one.
Ok, so this may seem silly, but I put a lot of stock in music. God has spoken to me through songs more times than I could possibly count. When I was trying to decide if I wanted to move to TX, He spoke to me in song. When I was figuring out how I was going to handle my college situation, a song came on the radio that spoke to me in such a way that I was able to move forward in my decision making process. I think that God has the ability, and the sense of humor, to speak to each person right where they are sitting at any given time. He knows what will speak to us the most effectively and He knows how to get His point across. For me, it just so happens that this often takes place when I am blaring my stereo as I drive on one of my 40 minute stints to and from my various jobs. I love that He gets me and the way I think....that is not always an easy task.
Anyways, I have heard the song "You Can't Hurry Love" on the radio at least 4 times in the past week alone, as if that wasn't enough, yesterday it was directly preceded by the song "Love Isn't Always On Time." Ok God, I get the picture :)
In all seriousness though, I have been feeling my age lately. True, I am only 21 and I'm probably considered in my prime, but I guess I am feeling the reality of the fact that I am in my 20's. I guess I'm silly, but unlike a lot of people, I always considered my teens to be my teen years to be the crazy ones, my 20's to be the career/finding my niche years etc etc. Seeing as how my 20's are officially under way...I guess I find myself wondering if I have found my niche. I used to tell my friends that I was going to get married by the time I was 25 and no later. Now I realize that A) It is completely ridiculous to put time limits on things like that and B) 3 1/2 years is really not a long time. I guess I just think too much for my own good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is what it is.
In other news, I have realized that the 90's weren't the worst decade for fashion...this allows me to transition to the other realization that I have had. I have gone far too long without going thrifting and currently vintage clothes have about the same appeal level as Mr Darcy...which is really saying something if you know me.
Ok, that is enough . I will say goodbye for now. Thanks for falling victim to my "I'm stuck inside all day due to snow and I have nothing else to do" spiel.
Anyways, I have heard the song "You Can't Hurry Love" on the radio at least 4 times in the past week alone, as if that wasn't enough, yesterday it was directly preceded by the song "Love Isn't Always On Time." Ok God, I get the picture :)
In all seriousness though, I have been feeling my age lately. True, I am only 21 and I'm probably considered in my prime, but I guess I am feeling the reality of the fact that I am in my 20's. I guess I'm silly, but unlike a lot of people, I always considered my teens to be my teen years to be the crazy ones, my 20's to be the career/finding my niche years etc etc. Seeing as how my 20's are officially under way...I guess I find myself wondering if I have found my niche. I used to tell my friends that I was going to get married by the time I was 25 and no later. Now I realize that A) It is completely ridiculous to put time limits on things like that and B) 3 1/2 years is really not a long time. I guess I just think too much for my own good. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that is what it is.
In other news, I have realized that the 90's weren't the worst decade for fashion...this allows me to transition to the other realization that I have had. I have gone far too long without going thrifting and currently vintage clothes have about the same appeal level as Mr Darcy...which is really saying something if you know me.
Ok, that is enough . I will say goodbye for now. Thanks for falling victim to my "I'm stuck inside all day due to snow and I have nothing else to do" spiel.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
It's VLOGGGGG time :)
Here is my first vlog evahhh!
What do you guys think? Should I do more? I kinda like it, not gonna lie :)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Random Life Musings
Ok, so lately my mind has been running on overdrive. I have yet to decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing :-S
First, I have noticed that my life has become a bit routine as of late, particularly with this new job. I find myself getting up at the same time, doing yoga at the same time, eating something similar for breakfast every day, etc, etc.
Why does this bug me? Most people find routines a comforting factor in their lives, while I tend to begrudge it's existence.
It has come to the point where I have a desire to write down a bunch of random activities, place them in a hat, and draw one each day so as not to get bogged down by monotony. Is this feasible? Most likely no, but a splendid idea nonetheless.
I think I have a restless personality and this is why things like this are bugging me. I also have been thinking a lot about my future lately, so that is probably a key factor as well. I only have about a year or so left of school so the reality of life is setting in and I am having to do some major evaluating/planning.
Perhaps my desire to branch out is based in the uncertainty I feel about the unknown. I don't want to become a robot for the remainder of my life. I would really rather keep my love of life and spontaneity intact thank you very much! Will that be a possibility? Perhaps not on the same level as packing up on a "whim" and moving half-way across the country, but I am fairly certain I can make my day to day fun and not mundane.
But how.......
First, I have noticed that my life has become a bit routine as of late, particularly with this new job. I find myself getting up at the same time, doing yoga at the same time, eating something similar for breakfast every day, etc, etc.
Why does this bug me? Most people find routines a comforting factor in their lives, while I tend to begrudge it's existence.
It has come to the point where I have a desire to write down a bunch of random activities, place them in a hat, and draw one each day so as not to get bogged down by monotony. Is this feasible? Most likely no, but a splendid idea nonetheless.
I think I have a restless personality and this is why things like this are bugging me. I also have been thinking a lot about my future lately, so that is probably a key factor as well. I only have about a year or so left of school so the reality of life is setting in and I am having to do some major evaluating/planning.
Perhaps my desire to branch out is based in the uncertainty I feel about the unknown. I don't want to become a robot for the remainder of my life. I would really rather keep my love of life and spontaneity intact thank you very much! Will that be a possibility? Perhaps not on the same level as packing up on a "whim" and moving half-way across the country, but I am fairly certain I can make my day to day fun and not mundane.
But how.......
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year, New Me?
Well, this is it folks. It's the time of year where everybody reflects on their lives so far. People look at how they have changed over the course of the past 365 days, and they figure out a way that they can make the next 365 even better. I hear things like "I am going to get in shape," " I am going to spend more time with my family," "I am going to eat better," "I am going to read the Bible cover to cover," etc, etc, etc. Every time New Year's Eve rolls around, I find myself thinking about these things. Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion that people have a desire to better themselves. They want to make this year even stronger by changing something about themselves that they don't like or don't feel is up to par. For some reason, this idea gave me pause. Don't get me wrong, I am all about New Year's Resolutions, and I applaud all of those who are determined to make positive changes in their lives. However, I realize that for me personally, this is the opposite of what I want to do this year.
I tend to be overly critical of myself. I am one of those people who find flaws in almost everything I do. This year, I want to embrace myself for who I am. I want to appreciate my "vices" such as my obsession with dried fruit and coffee. I want to learn to love the way I view life, I want to appreciate the talents that I have instead of trying to cultivate new ones that aren't necessarily what I am good at. I want to learn to be the best "me" that I can be....
Perhaps this was a pointless post, but it was something that really struck me as an important concept, so I decided to share.
I tend to be overly critical of myself. I am one of those people who find flaws in almost everything I do. This year, I want to embrace myself for who I am. I want to appreciate my "vices" such as my obsession with dried fruit and coffee. I want to learn to love the way I view life, I want to appreciate the talents that I have instead of trying to cultivate new ones that aren't necessarily what I am good at. I want to learn to be the best "me" that I can be....
Perhaps this was a pointless post, but it was something that really struck me as an important concept, so I decided to share.
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